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ABOUT ME

J.W. Affourtit (Afford•it)
Pronouns: He, him
Sign: Scorpio
Things that get me out of bed: a tee time, alarms, good coffee, having to pee.

Summary:
I live my life based off a few quotes from my dad:

“Life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread you got the less shit you have to eat.”
“Snitches get stitches.”
”Fuck around, and find out.”
”Be the dumbest one of your friends.”
”Where the fuck is the corn soufflé!?”

As seen on:
Adage
Communication Arts
Media Post
PRweek
Dad’s fridge

Coming to an office near you:
Email: jwaffourtit@gmail.com

So, you’ve made it here….to the most famous thing I’ve ever created (so far) and my never go-to party trick. It’s the only thing I’ve ever made that helps my family understand what I do for a living.